Religious Rhymes

On 9/11 we feel our loss
As directed by a mythical boss
So dont put dogma over law
It leads to what we saw
Just leave your hate on the cross

Kim Davis is a hero today
For hating every last gay
& denying their right to wed
Despite what the law said
She is our queen of bigotry I say

How I hate evolution
Its ungodly intellectual pollution
It refutes my bible
Like blasphemous libel
So spreading lies is my solution

Ms. @TamiHoshiyama the deceiver
Says Evolution is false, dont believe her
It is all but a fact
Proven & entact
Try science, myth believer

The Theory of Evolution
An insightful scientific revolution
It explains change over time
The eloquence is sublime
A verified & true notion

Is God my salvation
Or is there only damnation?
Who checked if its true?
Who promised that we knew?
It could be a monster & his deception!

If heaven & hell are real
Then God is the real deal
He commands all the torture
Making you more sure
That its before a monster you kneel

God is cruel
God is just a tool
God is unflawed
God is fraud
God is conviction
God is fiction
God is sensation
God is imagination

Glory to God in the highest
Just agree so he doesnt fry us
Praise His holy name
& play his gruesome game
As always God-fearing equals pious

I am a Christian
& I have a mission
To tell you I’ll be laughing always
As you’re burning in hell’s hallways
Such is our loving tradition

Allah gives me the power
To fly into a tower
And praises my devotion
To kill with an explosion
So every last infidel will cower

God is my friend
Friends ’til the end
As long as I worship & kneel
Because thats his perfect deal
How long is forever again?

On sunday Im fully devout
On monday my sin is all washed out
Tuesday I sin like a teen
By Sunday Im a sin-aholic & mean
Regards, The Devout

I’m finished with Gods threats
He’s just a myth I’ll bet
Tired of his pushy followers
Sick of the BS swallowers
Its all a false safety net

If your throwing arm needs honing
Working on Sunday is a stoning
So find a neighbor raking
& end his God forsaking
Hey, no need for atoning!

Oh How do I love
Pissing on God above
By working on a Sunday
We make it a fun day
Now that theres no stoning to speak of.

I hate the evidentially informed
Because conformed is the norm
& our ignorance is bliss
So I pray you don’t miss
The joy of the uninformed

I worship a guy named Jesus
He sorta died just to save us
But it was always just him
Who threatened torture for sin
Now he just enslaves us.

God once was so great
Soley in a tyrannical state
Overkilling was his thing
Slavery &Rape made him sing
Yet you love him, thats stupid mate

Jesus saved you, yes Gods son
But hes the guy we get saved from!
If you reject his love
He fries you from above
So kneel forever, how FUN!

I lie in Jesus’ name
My parents do the same
Yes, the bible’s a tough sell
So we lie to avoid his hell
Yes, shame is the name of the game.

We lie for Jesus & so should you.
Tell me what else we can do.
The dogma is so crazy
And we are too lazy
To bother checking if its true.

Praise his glorious name forever
A relationship you fear to sever
Get on your knees
Stay there if you pleaz
Unless torture sounds any better

Is the Lords word so pure?
It says he offers the cure
But the illness was his trick
To make you think youre sick
And thats cruel for sure

Jesus is my Lord and savior
Which justifies my behavior
And gives me an eternal pass
To act like an ignorant ass
And your superior neighbor.

The Bible is the evidence
That God lacks moral sense
Slavery was always wrong
& He killed everyone all along
Which makes it moral nonsense!

Islam is a religion of peace
Like a hive of sleeping bees
So accept Sharia Law today
Or Jihad will be the way
To force you to your knees.

My religion deserves your respect
Its where the lord & us connect
Evidence isnt needed
If your rights arent heeded
So do what we expect!

God is truly out there
All powerful & everywhere
He allows rape & starvation
And disease in every nation
So love him for how he cares.

Jesus he loves you,
Though yet unseen
But hates you he does,
He’s really quite mean…
(Finish with your tweet)

The ISIS love to start trouble
Murderous idiots in a bubble
“Join us or die”
A cowardly battle cry
With no brains so their guns are double

My bible says women be silent
& against gays be violent
Disobedient children be slain
Atheists killed in His name
Such peace is heaven sent

My bible has no flaws
All correct & perfect laws
We dont understand just how
But Gods errors are right even now
Why? Just because.

God is not a petulant child
He is wise, loving & mild
Unless you read my bible
Where He murders every rival
& directs others to be reviled

Do you know of Sacerdufus?
He lies, threatens & abuses us
He hates atheists & gays
& facts that reveal his ways
But liars lie, what a puss

Where is Ken Ham today?
He took his pet dino to play!
He ignored the science guy
The ark plan went awry
Then prayed for another way to pay

Scathing Atheist from the fringe
A Podcast that makes you cringe
The diatribe is like candy
& points all too handy
When theists need a singe

You tell me I need God today
But there is no god in any way
He is your pretending
Of a magical happy ending
& NO I dont respect what you say

How’s the Bible your moral guide
With slavery & murder inside?
You refuse to budge
Saying humans cant judge
Yet YOU know He’s right?!

I ask how God is real
You give a fallacious spiel
How mysteries prove god
& Im a damned and foolish clod
To not take your mythical deal

157 died in that town
When the jet liner came down
So its a miracle I guess
That 1 child survived the mess
What a blessing we have found!

Its time to set things straight
God’s a myth& prophecies are fake
Miracles are not divine
Holy books arent sublime
Drop it for goodness sake

God hates gays
God hates gays’ ways
God hates gay styles
God hates gay smiles
God must be gay I say

An open path is divine
A blocked path is also divine
An answered prayer is a blessing
No answer is also a blessing
Make up your damn mind!

Oh how much do I laugh
At the faithfuls’ holy path
With the forbidden things they do
& the hate they do spew
Just pretending away the wrath

Time to share God’s to do list
Its scary, here’s the gist
Create logical thinkers
Tell them theyre stinkers
& Torture them with an iron fist

A new vow from God
Hes decided to spare the rod
& finally do all your bidding
Oh sorry, Im just kidding
Hes still just a fictional fraud

I know an angel named Lucky
His boss was divinely sucky
So God put him down
And said don’t come around
Until a Ham builds an ark in Kentucky

Beware the tongue of the faith-ridden
Equality & reason they keep hidden
All for the chance
Of a divine bro-mance
With a God equally smitten

Oh Manuel de Dios Agosto the fraud
A faith-ridden liar before God
A coward who hates& hides
A leech who coattail rides
Sacerdufus the clod

Did I steer my son from believing?
By sharing all the crazy bible reading?
Well hell yes
I did my best
And such insanity bears repeating!

@Noah_Lugeons is my hero I’d say
Maybe, at least on Thursday
We hit the trenches
While he clears the benches
No one goes unscathed that day!

Why do atheists debate?
So no religion decides our fate
So no theocracy rules
So gods stay out of schools
So our world is safe to navigate

Jesus died for you
Then He rose for you
Then He prepared Hell for you
Then He burned whoever didn’t bow like you.
Now He owns you, bitch.

Dr Dawkins, happy day of your birth!
Its impossible to sum up your worth
Invaluable to our future
Humanity you nurture
Thanks friend ~Earth

Read the bible to the letter
Context makes it all better
God loves through rape & genocide
Slavery, stoning & infanticide
A divine go getter

What I wouldn’t do for God
I’d hate gays & incite a mob
Deny rights or start wars
Against all that God abhors!
All for him, my heavenly job!

Non-believers will burn in hell
It makes me giddy, can’t you tell?
We Christians will laugh
And applaude god’s wrath
From our divine citadel

Will Indiana be blessed
Or is God still stressed?
He wants all of Leviticus!
Enact adultery & blasphemy deaths!
Indiana, the half-assed mess

Wake up Kim Davis
Your hate won’t save us
Putting bigotry before the people
Doesn’t glorify your sheeple
It just vilifies your hateful myth

Sacerdufus gave in today
“No more lies” he did say
No more theats or libel
No more morality of the bible
Now thats a joke, April Fools Day!

So Jesus got nailed to sticks
He finally ran out of tricks
He had fooled a few
& found a loyal crew
But he couldn’t get out of that fix

I could go to church today
I could pretend to pray
I could feign straightness
I could credit God’s greatness
But fuck you, let me be gay!

Keep your god out of our way
Godly rules dont fit today
Keep them out of the fight
Instead lets do whats right
Until proven, its just hearsay

Today Jesus is still dead
Not like the myth in your head
A man died on the cross
For breaking blasphemy laws
Or at least the Fairy tale said

No need to love it or fear
Your god myth isnt here
Like all the rest
He failed every test
So just relax and have a beer

Regarding the voice in your head
Does it mean Jesus isnt dead?
Or is it your inner voice
Helping you make a choice
To dress in blue or red?

How did Jesus’ death back then
Empower his omnipotent Dad again?
God wouldn’t need a tool
To change his own rule
He would edit & hit send

Supposedly, Jesus is risen
But evidence there isn’t
The bible is only a story
Grossly Immoral & gory
& not one witness of Jesus ever living

To lie addict Sac-o
Who truly is a whacko
You’re dishonest every day
We cant believe what you say
Lying is your drug, beat it crack ho

I dissed Jesus, yes I did
I pissed in his cheerios & never hid
I mangled his name
I strangled his fame
I pissed & never even lifted the lid

In His torture, He unifies
In His slavery, He guides
In His bigotry, He hugs
In His slaughter, He loves
In His morality, He terrifies

I deny your god as being real
No myth has less appeal
Slavery, stoning, torture
& Genocidal hate on his brochure
What a crazy stupid deal!

If I die & God is there
I’d ask why he doesn’t care
Then sneak a massive kick
To His nuts & tiny prick
Leaving his holy junk beyond repair

As a Christian I do act
On behalf of God’s contract
I’ll bake nothing for a gay
But YES for adulters every day
Im a hypocrite, thats a fact!

Jesus speaks in my head
Nothing audible ever said
He dictates who all to hate
Tells me of your hellish fate
& he loves you ’til youre dead

Atheists are evil people
Trying to sway God’s sheeple
Oppressing my stagnant mind
With reason & being kind
So I just run for the steeple

He loves you no matter what
Unless youre an atheist twat
Or gay, a liar or you murder
Or a woman or evil plotter
Yes, He loves you somewhat

Faith convinces the sheep
Faith kills in the street
Faith chops your genitals
Faith is acting mental
Faith puts all reason in the back seat

I am God you turd
Follow my crazy word
In evil, I am good, you see?
So kneel & always worship me
Do I love you? Thats laughable. How absurd.

* When is…
A monster not a monster,
A tyrant not a tyrant
Evil not evil
A myth not a myth
Bigotry not bigotry
& Hate not hate?
…in church.

If God IS omnipotence
Then explain his impotence
If God is benevolence
Then how the malevolence?
If God loves fully, then why indifference?

Another sunrise, a green traffic light
…praise God!
Bigots fighting gay rights
…praise God!
My hate, my ignorance
…praise God!

How much faith atheists hide
Always completely denied
That beauty is simply natural
& design is accidental
Or so I lie, for catholic pride

Atheism is the justified position
Needing only 1 condition
With no evidence to perceive
There’s No reason to believe.
An honest cognition

Why do you call it a fallacy?
Creation is clearly reality
God made the rocks & grass
& even your atheist ass
No need for evidence. Just see!

When Believers Say They Have “Experiences”

The following is how I tend to respond to believers citing their own personal experiences as valid evidence for supporting their god beliefs.  Since believers often resort to other fallacious arguments surrounding this concept, I have included those refutations as well.  The numbers merely allow quick reference when directing somebody to read a particular response.

1.  “I have personal experiences and amazing visions and realize god’s miracles. I know he is real because God revealed himself to me.”  – So you  claim to know that God is real, but still have nothing to demonstrate it (especially to yourself), despite your divine connection. You instead cite subjective feelings, experiences and mysteries as evidence, but always fail to show that a god caused any of it, let alone that it’s even supernatural!  There’s NO indication that your experiences aren’t naturally occurring events.  Our brains are not fully understood and may be capable of more than we realize… especially with a coercive environment.  Even if your experience were supernaturally manipulated, how did you verify, with a merely natural brain, that its not a deception?

2.  “How else do you explain vivid and insightful visions, miracles of terminal patients recovering instantly, the design in the universe, life coming from non-life and the universe coming from nothing, if not from an omnipotent intelligence?”Concluding that your God did it by citing the lack of answers for mysteries, is called an argument from ignorance.  It doesn’t logically follow that your imagined answer is right.  BESIDES did you appropriately research ALL the potential natural forces in the universe to be able to legitimately dismiss them as causes?  No, obviously not, but lets say you did… Okay, you’ve OMNISCIENTLY discerned, tested and dismissed ALL NATURAL FORCES in the universe as being the causes of your miracles, experiences and mysteries. Now you officially have no answer within the known universe, yet you still can’t conclude your one God even exists.  All you can say is “It could be faeries, intelligent ectoplasm or maybe one of those god myths.” …but the fact is there’s a universe of natural possibilities which you have willfully or blindly skipped over to arrive at an utterly unproven supernatural conclusion.  By the way, who confirmed that your experiences are indeed from the source you claim they are? … and how do they know?

3.  “If you’re wrong though, then the feelings, experiences and visions would be direct information from God and you are not taking it seriously!”IF it were supernatural in origin (which isn’t evidenced at all), the believer is merely the viewer of events and visions which s/he was permitted to see.  Not unlike a movie, the content NEED NOT indicate the truth about anything.  Its laughable to say that the visions must be reflecting reality or that it must be telling you about the sender!  Utter nonsense.  Would a vision depicting the Faerie King verify, in any way, that the Faerie King was real?  Of course not.  Even if you KNEW 100% that these sources were supernatural (and you absolutely don’t) you would be believing, worshiping and loving ONLY what you have been fed and have verified nothing about the sender.  The TRUTH is that unexplained visions, experiences and miracles could all have natural explanations, but you have prematurely and irresponsibly dismissed this likelihood in favor your favorite magical one.  The real concern here is… Why would you, an intelligent person, let anonymous and unverifiable messages dictate a truth to you, when they could easily be false?

4.  “You don’t know and can’t prove that experiences, visions and miracles ARE NOT God’s doing.  How do you know I’m not right?”Mostly because you simply guessed about the sender/causer based on your family’s, community’s and country’s influence of popular god myths, with zero validating evidence.  You probably relied on stories, authority figures or even historical conclusions to decide what your experiences and/or mysteries are revealing.  Further, your choice is merely one myth of thousands, while you conveniently and baselessly have excluded the possibility of natural causes (which are the only verified type of causes).  So its a joke that you attempt to justify your choice as anything but ignorant and blind.  You are much more likely to be wrong than, by chance, happen to be close to correct. 

Ultimately, YOU have made a claim and I challenge you to show the evidence that you are correct. Believers often say “Atheists can’t prove that God doesn’t exist, so I can still believe.”  but their claim still remains unproven and their belief unjustified.  Not being able to prove that the Faerie King doesn’t exist, lends no evidence of him existing and provides no justification for believing in him.

5.  “Why do you try to force me to abandon my faith?  It’s a form of oppression!  Don’t you believe I have the right to believe?”  – The reason most atheists, secularists and some theists even bother to debate stubborn believers is because dogmatic ideas and laws, based on faith alone, threaten the well being of innocent people.  Yes you may not be imposing the harmful dogma in question, but until you reject the validity of religious faith, you are at least in part supporting those who would impose by it.  This unfortunate situation regarding the imposing tendencies of religion arguably requires a reality check.  Enter the atheist, humanist, secularist and concerned theists to challenge the validity of stubborn, insistent believers and their religion.  And NO, its not oppression to question ridiculous ideas and to try to inspire changes through reason.  It’s dishonest to say we are forcing you to ditch your faith, when you are just being asked to think about your belief.  So, please understand the stakes and put forth some real evidence that your God exists and his inspired word is valid, or think about leaving it all on the curb.

6.  “God is beyond our perceptions, measurements and tests.  Doubters want to use human senses and empirical methods to verify God, but he is beyond such things.”  – If He’s in-perceivable in every human way, that’s the same thing as believing in and worshiping NOTHING!  Correct, God and Nothingness would therefore be indistinguishable from each other!  Further, any believer saying this is admitting that believers have zero evidence justifying their belief in God.  Worse for you, it also means that not believing in gods, (the atheist position) is the only justified position.  Well done.

Alternately, defending your lack of evidence by claiming God doesn’t leave evidence, is saying that miracles, visions, disasters and the whole universe IS NOT evidence of your God.  Care to revise your position?

7.  “You won’t know or prove God’s existence until you open your heart to Him.”  – So let me get this straight. You now contradict your position by revising God’s utter imperceptibility with the simple fix of having an open heart and just believing in him?!  So… to see “evidence” of God, I have to IGNORE the glaring LACK of empirical evidence for God, by SUPPRESSING my perfectly justified skepticism and disbelief?  Then I have to BLINDLY believe some virally popular myth and open my mind to it… for no reason other than your word?  Yes, let the brainwashing begin as follows:  I am to be compelled to accept the “truth” suggested by my family and community and not question it.  The more I blindly accept those stories of experiences, visions and miracles, the more likely my own brain will interpret events in that way.  My conditioned brain is even being primed to let me have visions of my own, which will likely relate to my constantly reinforced beliefs!  The evidence contradicting my belief system would be mentally compartmentalized and explained away by authority figures and fallacious arguments.  My position becomes solidified more and more until rational people sound absurd to me… just like atheists challenging beliefs based on somebody’s word with zero evidence.  No thanks.  That ploy may work on children and the emotionally needy, but I prefer to NOT open myself up to coercive influences and baseless claims.  If a god did make us, then he would expect us to use our advanced reasoning abilities to stay clear of such obvious manipulations.  As an atheist and skeptic I see right through your position for what it is… a baseless and outdated belief system.

Thanks for reading, @FreeAtheism on Twitter